| LifeCoach.com | About Us | Contact Us | Coaches Login | ||
|
|
||
    |
  |
Talane’s Classic Tip for the Week, March 16, 2009
Be An Instant Billionaire
Every now and again it is a good idea to play the Billionaire Game. Ask yourself "if I had a billion dollars, what would I do?" Take out a pen and paper right now and make a list of at least 100 things you would want to do, be or have. Write down every wish, desire, fantasy, dream, and hope that you can possibly think of. Most people pick up their pads and start writing and pretty soon they get stuck and can't even come up with 100 things. Push yourself past your limit and invent some more.
Now that you have your list, go through it. How many things on this list do you really want? One client spent a summer driving a Mercedes and realized he was much happier driving his old Honda because he never had to worry about it. Do the same for the activities. Do you really want to be a famous opera singer? Or, given the time and training it would require, are you perfectly content to sing in the shower?
From this list, pick the top ten items that you really want to do, have or be in this lifetime. If you were on your deathbed looking back, what would be the things you would regret not having done? By the way, I've never yet heard of anyone on his deathbed saying he wished he had bought that Rolex watch. Usually we regret not doing things or not saying things or missing out on a great experience in life. Make sure every remaining item is aligned with your values. I don't mean moral values, but what is really important to you. Now that you know what you really want, pick one lifetime goal and get started on that today.
Take a few minutes to play the Billionaire Game. Make your list just for fun. Pick your top ten and see what you end up attracting.
Excerpted from Coach Yourself to Success by Talane Miedaner
Copyright © 2000 McGraw Hill
Talane’s Blog for the Week, March 9, 2009
A Different Perspective on Healthcare…
A few hours after I came home from the hospital with my newborn baby girl, Kaela, there was a knock on my front door. My mom answered and saw a man standing there. She asked, “Who are you?” “I’m Dr. May”, he answered. “Why are you here?” “I’ve come to check on the new baby.” My mother’s mouth gaped in amazement. She couldn’t believe the doctor had made a house call just to see a perfectly healthy baby that had already been checked out thoroughly at the hospital before we left. Dr. May likes babies and makes this extra effort simply because he wants to. He isn’t obligated to or required to, he just does it because he cares and is our family doctor. He did the same when I came home with my second daughter, Sophia. No charge. In addition, for the first few months after giving birth, a health care visitor came to my house once a week to check up on the baby, administer any injections and make sure that the feeding was going well and the baby was gaining weight at the correct rate as well as make sure that my womb was contracting properly and I was healing well. These nurses assure you that they expect to see you in bathrobes with hair a mess and don’t want you to get dressed up for them. And they understand how tired you are and what a hassle getting to the doctor’s office is when you have a newborn. How fabulous a service is that! And guess what, I didn’t spend a penny for it.
My mother just arrived to spend two months with us. She neglected to renew her high blood pressure medication and arrived with just ten days supply of medication. Her plan was to cut the pills in half and hope to survive. I was horrified when I heard her plan because she has been on this medication for years, has not changed her weight or diet and is at high risk for a heart attack. You don’t have to be a life coach to see that her plan was abysmal at best. After a sleepless night spent worrying that my mother would die, I realized that I needed to do something. I booked an appointment with our family doctor. I was given an appointment for 5:00 p.m. that very day. We arrived just before 5:00 p.m. and at 5:02 p.m. the doctor was ready to see her. He asked what he could do for her and she asked if he could renew her prescription for two months. Without further ado he wrote out the slip and off we went to the pharmacist next door who filled it in five minutes. By 5:20 p.m. we were on our way home with medication in hand. There was no charge for any of this. In fact, there are no cash registers or credit card machines in the doctor’s reception so you couldn’t pay even if you tried as they have no way of taking money. And, since my mom is a senior citizen, there was no charge for medication at the pharmacy either. They just handed her the bag with her pills and off she went.
The other day I had to go take my daughter to the emergency room. Instead of asking for my insurance or credit card, the receptionist asked what the problem was. I was seen in order of priority which was about a half-hour because it wasn’t a life threatening issue.
Now you might be thinking, Talane must be rolling in dough to afford that level of health care or that I have some super duper insurance policy that you’ve never heard of. Nope. I’m living in England and this level of care is standard. These weren’t just flukes. I’ve been here five years and I’ve never once had to wait for a doctor’s appointment for more than 20 minutes and when that happened the doctor apologized profusely for making me wait. You can opt to use private medicine here if you wish, but the standard care is so good I haven’t seen the need to. As some of my readers may know, I’m an American who married an Englishman and moved from New York to England and I have been running my NYC based life coaching company from abroad for five years now. In this time, I’ve also had two babies, Kaela and Sophia who are now 4 and 2 years old. I’ve been reading in the UK press a lot about American’s using the word “socialism” as if it were a dirty word. Before I moved to the UK, I assumed that the US health care was the best in the world and the reason that it was the best was because it was a private system, not a socialized system. That competition ensured the best care and the best doctors. I assumed that anything that was socialized and run by the government couldn’t possibly be as good or as efficient as private medicine or private anything else for that matter. How wrong could I be! My years in England have completely changed my perspective. Socialized medicine is wonderful—at least in England. I never in my life would have imagined I’d say that, but I will shout it from the rooftops. I love it! It is such a good feeling to know that if, heaven forbid, something catastrophic should happen, it won’t ruin us financially. In fact, the one thing putting me off about returning to America is that I’d have huge health insurance costs with two small munchkins. You don’t need health insurance here in the UK. I don’t have it. They just cut out the middle men and pay the doctor’s directly. What a concept. And what is most surprising to me is that is feels so much more democratic…so much more equal. Everyone gets great treatment. The poor people don’t have to wait for hours in some second-rate clinic. Children and elderly don’t pay for medication. No one takes a job here in order to get medical benefits. And yet, I personally know people in the US who have taken certain jobs just so they can get medical benefits and coverage. My own aunt could not get health insurance or benefits at her company because she is obese. Isn’t this discrimination? My eldest sister is completely uncovered because she can’t afford to pay for health insurance. How is that better? Now that I’ve seen and experienced how wonderful, how civilized, how democratic, how reassuring and how fair socialized medicine can be, I’d never use the word socialism with disdain. Don’t believe me…come over here and break a leg.
Warmest,
Talane
Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Tip for the Week, March 2, 2009
Overcoming Resistance: Setting a Daily Objective
I’m in the process of coaching one of my dearest friends to help her complete her novel. She is a highly accomplished writer and very disciplined so I don’t have to do much other than just check in with her on a weekly basis. And she is supporting me as well in my weight loss, meditation and spiritual stuff. In fact, before I forget, she said something really brilliant last week about why I might have upset people with my weight loss blogging to the point of having them unsubscribe from my list. She pointed out that I’m very compassionate in my writing in all areas except for my own body. I disparage my own body instead of love it. This doesn’t help things improve! I’m now taking note when I say something negative about my weight or body. I cancel those thoughts and refocus on the positive things about my body. I am profoundly grateful that my body was fertile enough at 41 that I could give birth to Sophia. What more can I ask for? This is not something I take for granted and yet it is something I don’t applaud my body for enough. I now see where I was going wrong on the weight loss front and extend my apologies to all those I may have offended or made feel bad about their own bodies. Time to be grateful for our health and our magnificent, amazing bodies!
That aside, for today’s topic on overcoming resistance, I thought I’d share a strategy that is working for my friend. She has a very specific goal of getting her first draft and 51,000 words done before she goes away on holiday. She has figured out that she needs to write 10 pages a day. Last week her daughter was very sick with the flu and she lost quite a bit of time looking after her. To compensate, she is now writing 11 pages a day so that she can still finish on time. This is the way a professional works. Stuff will happen to get in the way and then you need to compensate. Sometimes she stays up until 3:00 a.m. to get her pages done. Other times she has them done early and takes the rest of the day off. Regardless, she is focused on her commitment. Not once has she asked me for a reprieve or additional time. What a pro! And this is the key to overcoming resistance. Resistance cannot defeat her even when life throws her a curve ball.
What are you resisting? Create a plan and set a daily objective, however small it may seem. It may be that your daily objective is to write three pages in a journal every day. Great! Actually, that is a really powerful way to start writing – the way I got started in fact. Or, walk for ten minutes. It doesn’t matter, just stick with it and you’ll soon have resistance completely conquered.
Enjoy!
Talane
For more on Resistance, join us in the upcoming new Phone Class Overcoming Resistance starting April 14th. It will be a fun and interactive class. You can now register online at www.lifecoach.com.
Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Blog for the Week, February 23, 2009
Courting the Muse
So many times we wait to start something until inspiration strikes. And when that inspiration wanes, we stop. We are waiting for the time to be right, for that elusive day when we’ll have more time and more money and can start the thing we really want to do in life. It doesn’t matter if this is a health and fitness plan, a novel, or any other big endeavor. When Somerset Maugham was asked if he wrote on a schedule or when struck by inspiration he replied, “I write only when inspiration strikes. Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o’clock sharp.” As Pressfield writes in his brilliant little book, The War of Art –
Therein lies the key to success. Sit down and give your current initiative your best hour of the day. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, open your email – that is like opening Pandora’s box and you’ll be lost inside it for hours. You’ll have squandered your freshness on some stale email. Instead, give your first and best hour of every day to your special task, big project, creative endeavor, etc. Make this practice sacred and your muse will find you and sit perched on your shoulder.
Enjoy!
Talane
Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Tip for the Week, February 16, 2009
On Fighting Fair
Given relationships is a hot topic around Valentine’s Day I thought I’d throw in a tip about fighting. My husband and I have not had many fights and partly that is because neither of us are hot-tempered and we both tend to shy away from fights. That withstanding, we still do have the occasional fight. I was recently asked to provide some tips on fighting fair for a women’s magazine and my first thought was to try to prevent the fight from happening in the first place. In other words, why not aim for a fight-free relationship? The first key to that is having a weekly date with your spouse or partner. If you don’t take time away from the house, the kids, etc. and spend some romantic quality time together at least once a week for a few hours then how can you expect to feel romantic about your partner? It will fade! Keep the romance alive with a weekly date. It doesn’t have to be a fancy dinner at an expensive restaurant either. One of our best dates was ordering Chinese to go and having that with a bottle of wine on the beach watching the sun set. Or packing a basket of gourmet goodies and having a picnic. Cheap and creative can often be more fun, especially if you are worried about money these days. The important thing is to try to get out of the house for a change of scene and away from the kids if you have them. This is your time to be a couple!
Second, if you notice that you or your partner is angry for any reason, give them permission to be angry. We will all get angry at one time or another and usually it is over some pretty silly stuff. I remember one of my earliest fights with Paul was whether one should wash or brush mushrooms! Ask your mate how long they need to be angry. This does two things, it gives them the right to be angry and it gives them as much time as they need to cool off. There is no point in having any sort of discussion if one or both of you are heated. Wait until you can cool off and discuss things in a calm voice. Your partner might say, “Give me five minutes.” Or, he or she might say, “I need a few hours.” Then, give them the time they asked for and don’t try to interact or talk to them until they are ready. Try it and you’ll be amazed. My husband laughed the first time I did this and it diffused the tension immediately.
All the best,
Talane
Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Blog for the Week, January 19, 2009
On Failure
January is the month of resolutions and new goals so I thought I would talk about failure. It is at about this time (3 weeks into the year) that most people give up their New Year’s Resolutions. If you have done my New Year’s Evolution program you may not have this problem! If you are struggling or have already given up, take heart. This is more common than you realize. Most people fail a couple of times before they are successful. For example, most people do not quit smoking just once, they quit a couple of times before they are successful non-smokers. Most people do not just find the right diet the first time they try one. They try numerous diets, fail, regain the weight and then try another until they find the one that they can live with and that works with their body and personality. So whether you have quit or are ready to quit, this does not mean you are a failure or that you will never reach your goal. All it means is that the particular method you are using may not be right for you. Try a different method or strategy and see if that works any better. Look at it as an experiment. If this experiment did not work for you, for whatever reason, try something else instead. By experimenting you are never failing and always trying other methods until you get it the way you want it.
I am doing this right now with my schedule and I keep tweaking it, trying to get the right mix of working out, being a mother, running a coaching business, writing a book, having a social life, etc. and get the results I want. When I get it just right, I’ll let you know!
Warmest,
Talane
Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Attraction Tip for the Week, January 12, 2009
The Trick to Making a List of Goals or Wishes Come True for You
If you read the last tip, I suggested that you write a list of your accomplishments, business and personal, large and small for 2008 to complete the year. Then make a goals list and/or a wish list for the New Year. I was just reviewing one of my client’s lists and noticed a problem that is common for most folks. It is worth spending a bit of time reviewing your list carefully to ensure you don’t have the same problem.
The biggest problem is the deadly word “more.” For example, take the goal: “I’d like to make more money in 2009”. Or “I’d like to spend more time with my family this year.” The problem with “more” is that it is too vague. If you were to imagine that you are giving this list to your fairy godmother to work on, and imagine that she is a rather lazy fairy godmother, who although dedicated to helping you achieve your goals, will do the minimum stated. If you pick up a penny on the street and that was one penny more than you made last year, your fairy godmother will tick that off her list and move on to your next goal or wish. If you spend one more minute with your family this year than you did last year, then bingo, she’ll tick that one off too. She is a very literal woman. So to get the most out of her (and the universe), it really works to have clear and specific goals and wishes. Describe as specifically as you can what you are hoping to achieve. Try, “I’ll make twice as much money this year as I did last.” Much clearer and more specific. Or “I will be home four nights of the week at 6 pm for dinner with my family.” Or “I will dedicate a half hour every night to focused attention/playing with my children.”
You now might wonder what is the difference between a goal and a wish. A goal is a specific objective that you commit to, e.g. I will write 50,000 words this year. A wish is something you might like to have happen, but it may be out of your control, such as “I wish my book is a bestseller.” Or it might be something you aren’t willing to spend a lot of time and energy to make happen, but would love to attract. You can “make” a book a bestseller in some cases with clever marketing, but if you aren’t willing to devote your time, energy and resources to making that happen and still want it to happen, put it on your wish list. I always do!
Some things don’t work as well as wishes. I make fitness a goal so I put it in my daily schedule. I have discovered that wishing myself fit doesn’t work - it takes action! Must be that lazy fairy godmother!
I make a list of goals that I want to commit to and book those into my schedule (or they won’t get done!) and I write down a list of wishes that I just attract. Every year I’m amazed at how many wishes come true just by making this list. So don’t forget to do your wish list! And be specific!
Enjoy!
Talane
Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Blog for the Week, January 5, 2009
Happy 2009!
A warm welcome to the new year to all my readers! I’m just back in the office after a lovely holiday and am looking forward to the year ahead. Over Christmas I had my eyes lasered and now have better than 20/20 vision. It is quite miraculous given I’ve been wearing glasses or contacts since I was eight years old.
Aside from the fact that the entire family got the stomach flu, we all had a good time. A bit after the fact, I did my favourite year end exercise with my husband to list all our accomplishments for 2008. It is a lovely way to complete the year and if you haven’t taken a few minutes to do it, I highly recommend it. It is a natural tendency to focus on the negative and forget all the good things that you might have accomplished over the year. And, we tend to race into the new year without fully completing and appreciating the last one. I was amazed at how many wonderful things happened in 2008–my second book, The Secret Laws of Attraction was published in July. I had my first surprise party ever. Joined a book club and made new friends locally. Travelled to the US and visited some of my dearest and oldest friends. I led seminars in London and New York. I met a business and financial angel to help me grow my business. And so much more! It was a banner year when I looked at everything written down. When you’ve finished your list, then you can write a wish list for 2009. This may include wishes (the light and fantastical stuff) and the more serious goals that you commit to accomplishing. Take a few minutes one evening to do this exercise and share your results with someone. It will get this year off to a strong start!
Warmest,
Talane
Copyright © 2009 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Blog for the Week, December 15, 2008
Holiday Happiness
A few tips for ensuring a happy holiday season:
Enjoy the season!
Warmest,
Talane
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Blog for the Week, December 8, 2008
How to Have More Fun and Spend Less this Holiday ….
I’ve just now received my $900 economic stimulus check from Uncle Sam and have promptly done my civic duty and spent it to buy Christmas presents! That being said, ever since my grandmother went on Social Security years ago we quickly realized that she couldn’t afford the usual $20.00 apiece gift. Rather than make her feel embarrassed or uncomfortable, we decided as a family to set a $5.00 gift limit per person. This way we all had loads of presents to open and we got gifts from everyone and it didn’t break anyone’s bank account. We’ve stuck to this over the years until last year when my aunt said she didn’t want to do it. We sent gifts anyway and she felt like a scrooge and realized that it was the thought, not the actual gift that counted. You have to get pretty creative to find something nice for $5 and that is part of the fun. Those who are having a busy time of it or just don’t like shopping send book store gift certificates for $5 instead. So that handled my mom’s side of the family.
My dad’s side of the family is huge. And every year we’d be getting about 28 presents and even at $5 each that adds up. My Aunt Sue came up with the solution: The Grinch Game. Everyone brings one $10 gift (you can assign any $ amount you wish as long as everyone agrees ahead of time to stick firmly to this amount), wraps it and puts it under the tree with no name on it. Then everyone draws a number out of the hat. (Someone has to write the numbers on an individual piece of paper and fold it up so you can’t see what you are drawing. There should be one number for each person. So if 28 people are playing you’ll need the numbers 1-28 written on 28 little pieces of paper. Whoever drew #1 gets to pick the first present from under the tree and open it. Then #2 gets to either take the present that #1 just opened or pick an unopened present from under the tree. If #2 picks the present from #1 then #1 has to pick a new present from under the tree and open it. Then #3 picks either from #1 or #2 or a new present from under the tree and on it goes. If #3 picks present from #2 then #2 could take the present from #1 or from under the tree. It gets a bit silly and is loads of fun as favourite presents keep getting “snatched.” Until the last person draws you don’t know if you’ll actually be able to keep the present you opened. This is a great way to spend hours opening the gifts and is even more fun than standard gift giving! Great fun for office parties and for large families. One tip to make it work well with mixed age groups - get everyone to bring a gift they would like to take home themselves (because you just might!). This means that a five year old might bring a big teddy bear and a 45 year old might bring a bottle of wine and it all works out fine in the end. (If it doesn’t, you can always do a bit of swapping around after the fact and go home with the gift you brought. Enjoy! Talane
Enjoy!
Talane
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Blog for the Week, December 1, 2008
On Procrastination….
For years I’ve retained the audio rights for Coach Yourself to Success and in the back of my mind I’ve always thought I’d read and record the book and make it available for sale. I’ve had those rights for some 8 years now and haven’t made the recording. Talk about procrastination! And I’m the great life coach! Ha! Now that I’ve committed to do it I can see just why I’ve been procrastinating all this time. First, I didn’t have the right equipment. Now that a client has given me a fabulous little H2 recorder, I have that solved. Second, I am a complete birdbrain when it comes to figuring out how to use anything even slightly technical so now I’m finding technical difficulties are slowing me down. I can’t figure out how to use this wonderful little device so I’ve called for help. I can see, however, that once I get past these hurdles, I’ll be able to get the job done. (So for those of you who have been waiting…a few more months and it will be out!)
The point here is that we often procrastinate for some very real reasons. We don’t have the right tools, we don’t know how to do it, we don’t have the time, we don’t have the support we need, we don’t like doing the task, etc.
Take a few minutes to jot down all the projects you’ve been putting off then write down what is stopping you. Do you need different tools, are you missing some key skill or is it that you just don’t like a part of the task and have been putting the whole thing off as a result?
It is worth figuring out why we procrastinate about stuff so that we can then address those particular areas directly and then get on with the work at hand.
Enjoy!
Talane
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Blog for the Week, November 24, 2008
Be Grateful and Give Thanks (excerpted from 2007 tip)
One of the most powerful ways to attract more good things into your life is to be grateful for what you already have. And Thanksgiving week is the perfect week to take the time to send notes to your friends, colleagues, bosses, family members telling them what you appreciate about them and why you are grateful to have them in your life. Or take a few minutes at Thanksgiving dinner to go around the table and share what and who you are grateful for.
As an American living in England, I’ve brought Thanksgiving with me and we host a very popular Thanksgiving dinner at our home for 18 or more people and have put an English twist on it by adding copious amounts of champagne and wine, holding it on Saturday (so they have a day to recover), leaving the kids at home, and playing charades instead of watching football. Not the traditional Thanksgiving family event I am used to, but loads of fun! Try as I might, I can’t get them to eat pumpkin pie so I’ve given up and eat it myself for breakfast - and it tastes even better that way! If there is anything you don’t like about your Thanksgiving holiday, just change it. I liked it fine the way it was, but now that we’ve exported it and adapted it to life in England, it is even more fun than ever. One of my clients said her family always gets into big family fights so she dreads it, but they discovered that if they eat dinner out, they all behave properly and have a great time together. Adapt the traditions so they make sense to you and your family and use the opportunity to acknowledge and appreciate your loved ones.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Talane
Copyright © 2007 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Blog for the Week, November 17, 2008
The Family Calendar
This tip is so simple most people probably already have this in place, but if you don’t, then chaos will no doubt be reigning supreme in your household. Whether your family consists of two adults or a family with a bunch of kids you need a simple way to coordinate schedules.
Low Tech Version (paper and pencil)
I bought something called The Family Calendar at the WH Smiths store in the UK and it shows one week at a time with the dates running down the left hand side and then there are blanks running across the top of the page for you to write in each family member’s name, including the baby and the au pair. You could create this yourself on a computer. (Yes, even the baby is scheduled for doctor appointments and nursery or crèche appointments. The au pair writes in her class schedule for the week and nights she has plans to go out so we know when to book her in for babysitting nights.)
Every Sunday I sit down and make sure I have everyone’s plans for the upcoming week in the schedule. That way everyone can see at a glance what is going on for the week. (We keep the calendar in the kitchen under the phone so it is handy.) If we have dinner at the neighbor’s, that is in and the au pair is babysitting. If my husband is out of town, that is on the schedule so we know not to expect him to pick up the girls from school, etc.
The key to success is that there is one master calendar and the master rules the day. If your event is not in the calendar, it might not happen. My husband had to learn the hard way on this but hasn’t messed up since!
High Tech Version (computer)
One couple I know uses Outlook to coordinate their calendars. They each had their own calendar and then a master one, but that wasn’t working as one or the other would forget to write an important event on the master calendar. So instead, they use Outlook and send each other invitations via email. When the invitation is “accepted” then the event is automatically on the calendar. This works as they each maintain their own schedules and invite each other to events where both need to participate or be aware of the other’s schedule (i.e., his tennis schedule, her book club meeting). Outlook will also confirm that the event was accepted by the invitee.
This would work with older children who are on the computer a lot as well.
If you have a better or simpler method of organizing the family, please do let me know!
Warmest,
Talane
Copyright © 2007 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Blog for the Week, November 3, 2008
Here are some comments about last week's tip from my readers...
I loved your blog. If you'd like my story...
I had a few pounds that needed to come off but that wasn't motivation enough for me to start a serious exercise program. I had joined
a women's fitness program a few years ago but on the day I decided to make a change, I hadn't been to work out for over 8 months. I had
just seen a doctor and it was bad news...my cholesterol was high, my triglycerides were high, I'm osteopenia and pre-diabetic. I also
have MS (although you'd never know it). I knew the missing component was the exercise but then with the pre-diabetic news, it really got
my attention. So, one morning I got up at 7:15 and by 7:30 I was working out. I go every weekday at 7:30 a.m. to work out or to a yoga
class. I'm back home by 8:30 and in my home office by 9:00. And, there's good news... my cholesterol is in an acceptable range, the
triglycerides are low, I've gained bone density and I'm only two points away from being out of the pre-diabetic range. As long as I'm
diligent with my diet and exercise I see no reason that I can't maintain the good health I'm currently experiencing. I am a "poster-woman"
for MS because my neurologist took me off the medication (a daily injection) that I had been on since 2001 because I'm doing so well.
And, by the way, I lost 20 pounds.
fm
Gotta call you on this one as you did your client ...
You can't really make the goal pre-pregnancy shape ...not fair ...you have been pregnant and like it or not your body has changed forever.
When a woman does sit ups after pregnancy there is often a separation in her stomach muscles from carrying the baby that was not there before ...hips may be forever broadened and in my case ...I had a floating sacrum ...my tailbone moves so much that riding a bicycle ...no matter what seat I used became impossible as my sacrum would swell from the movement...a big baby had naturally bi product....
So going to call you on this as you did your client. The goal is to be in wonderful shape, marvelous shape, even better-than-ever shape. But once you have a baby you can never again be back in "pre- pregnancy shape.
Years of reading your news letter and taking a course from you, as well as my journey elsewhere, has warned me to be specific ...and "watch the words that you use "!!!!!!!
You can never be in pre-pregnancy shape, can't go back to before you had kids ...but heck why would you want to ????? But you can be the best you ...you can physically be now ...whatever that turns out to be!
Good luck and Blessings and Light on the journey.
M
Talane’s Blog for the Week, October 27, 2008
One of my new clients came to me with the almost universal goal to lose weight - 10 lbs. to be precise. I asked her how long she had
this as a goal and she admitted it was over a year without any real progress. I promptly told her to throw that goal out as it was a dead
goal not worth more energy. But she persisted and said that she was concerned that she was now getting to the stage in life where
weight that once came off easily wasn’t anymore and she had other health issues she wanted to deal with as well. I said that I wouldn’t
work with her on losing weight, but would support her in a bigger goal in which weight loss would be a byproduct of that project. For
example, she could enter the NY marathon and join a team of people in training to run it. Pretty fair bet she’d lose ten pounds without
even thinking about it. Or take ballroom dancing lessons with the goal of entering a competition. Or take yoga teacher training, or
become a lumber jack, etc. I gave her a week to think of a bigger goal that would excite her but she came back empty-handed saying
that she couldn’t think of a bigger goal that appealed to her other than improving her general health and fitness. Not very exciting. I
suggested that she embark on a program of extreme self care to include things such as working with a nutritionist to design a food plan
tailor-made to her needs, working with her life coach (me!), getting a weekly massage, manicure/pedicure, facial, pilates three times a
week, etc. Now that sounds like more fun! She also had to write down her weight every day in a log book and take her average weight
loss for the week. She lost 1 lb. the first week. Then she put down “lose two lbs. this week” and I had to stop her. She can’t really
control whether her body will lose those two pounds this week so that goal had to go. Instead, we put in place the goal to start working
out at home. That is something she can promise to do and is one more step in the right direction of extreme self-care.
As a general rule of thumb it isn’t a good idea to set goals for yourself that you can’t control or deliver on. You can’t really promise to lose two pounds this week, but you can promise to exercise every day and start eating the foods on your plan.
On a personal note, I’ve decided to make fitness my own goal and get my body back into pre-pregnancy shape. My youngest daughter will be two this December and my body hasn’t naturally recovered so I’ve realized I need to make this a priority if I want things to change. As with any current initiative, give them first priority and do it first thing in the morning. I was trying to exercise at night, but never felt like it so this was my solution. [Note: if you aren’t getting results doing it one way, try something else.] As a result, I had to squish my work time into the afternoon hours and be more efficient and start my day at about 12:00 noon instead of 9:00 a.m. So far, this has worked out just fine and my business is still intact.
Give your special, most important project (whatever that might be at the moment) first priority and do it before you open your emails or check your voice mail and you’ll be amazed at the results. When I was writing The Secret Laws of Attraction, that was my first priority and my thighs had to wait. Now, my body gets first priority and I’m quite pleased with my thighs these days!
Warmest,
Talane
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Classic Tip for the Week, October 20, 2008
Discover Your Unique Talent
We all have some special talent, skill, or gift – something we do or some way we see things that is different or better than anyone else. Very often what comes naturally to you is so much a part of you that you don't even notice it. People tend to think that if it is easy for them, then it is easy for everyone else too. This just isn't so. You might think if it is this easy or fun, then you shouldn't get paid for it. We like to think that work is hard - that if we don't sweat and struggle, we don't deserve to get paid for it. Again, this just isn't so. In fact, it is more often the opposite: the people who make the most money love what they do and have some natural ability for it that they have honed and developed.
If you can't figure out what your special talent is, interview your friends, family, and colleagues. They will tell you. It is really this easy. Here are some questions you can ask:
The next step is to begin to honor your gift. By that I mean that you fully express it, share it with others, do it, be it, live it. Just start. Do one thing that will allow you to fully express your unique gift. Then see how you can incorporate that into your life today, and the universe will pull you in that direction. Remember, your own special skill comes so easily and naturally that you probably take it for granted.
Excerpted from Coach Yourself to Success: 101 Tips from a Personal Coach for Reaching Your Goals at Work and in Life with permission from McGraw-Hill.
Talane Miedaner
Master Certified Life Coach
Author of the International Bestseller, Coach Yourself to Success and
The Secret Laws of Attraction
Acclaimed Life Coach, Personal Coach, Executive Coach
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Classic Tip for the Week, October 13, 2008
Raise Your Standard
The flip side of boundaries is standards - the conduct you hold yourself to. It doesn't make much sense for you to have a boundary that people can't make derogatory remarks about you if you do this to others. By extending your boundaries, you'll be raising your standards. They go hand in hand.
You can choose your standards. For example: "I always tell the truth." "I never raise my voice." "I always show up on time." "I don't give advice unless asked." Choose the standards you are ready for, not the ones you think you "should" have. Make a list of people you admire. Write down their top qualities, and think about the standards of behavior they hold themselves to. Now write down the standards you'd like to adopt for yourself.
It may take a few times of seeing you show up early before people realize you are now punctual, but they will start taking you more seriously immediately.
Excerpted from Coach Yourself to Success: 101 Tips from a Personal Coach for Reaching Your Goals at Work and in Life with permission from McGraw-Hill.
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Blog of the Week, September 29, 2008
Petty Annoyances No More
Today we are finally getting the kitchen sink fixed. A few months ago we dropped a pot on our relatively new ceramic sink (we had just remodeled the kitchen) and chipped it. The tiny chip slowly grew into a rather long crack, and then, the crack became a leak and water started to leak into the cabinet below and we had to stop using that half of the sink altogether. We have a five-year warranty so I called the sink company not one bit worried. But, this is a warranty in England, the land where the customer is always wrong. And, since it wasn’t a manufacturer’s fault, they would not cover the replacement costs. Thankfully, our homeowner’s insurance did cover it. This was on my list of petty annoyances and now it is handled.
Your home or apartment can nurture and be a sanctuary to you or it can be a bloody nuisance (as the English say). If your home is overloaded with clutter or possessions, is dirty, messy or falling apart, it falls in the latter category. If, on the other hand, your home is neat and clean and well-organized and comfortable, it can be a haven—a place where you are nurtured and restored. It doesn’t matter whether you have a mansion or a tiny apartment—it is worth making your home a lovely space. Invest a few hours a week (try turning off the TV) and you’ll soon find your home gives you energy instead of draining it. Start by working on one room at a time and if you don’t know where to begin, start with your bedroom. Once you have one room exactly the way you want it, then move onto the next until every room in your house is a joy to be in. Or simply start with a list of petty annoyances and get rid of those first. You’ll be more attractive to yourself and others if you enjoy being in your own home.
Do whatever it takes even it means hiring the professionals. One of my clients followed up on my tip last week to hire a housekeeper. She sheepishly admitted to spending a fair amount of time cleaning up before the cleaner came (getting rid of clutter and putting things away). Then the cleaners came and she said her house feels brand new again and she loves it! It has given her a huge burst of energy to focus on building her growing business. Do one thing this week to handle something you have been tolerating around the house or start working to make one room a haven.
Warmest,
Talane
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Blog of the Week, September 22, 2008
Observations from my travels this summer…
One of the things that has stuck in my mind is an observation I made while visiting some of my dearest friends who are married, have children and homes of their own, not to mention full time jobs. They are university-educated, bright women. They put a huge value on spending time with their children and families. They have good jobs and their husbands have full-time jobs as well. And, neither of them have a house cleaner. One handles the problem by simply not cleaning. I helped her sweep up the pine needles that were still left from Christmas. Her cost for not having a cleaner is an unkempt house. The other does her own cleaning, with the help of her husband, so that she can be a model to her children – it is a moral issue for her to show her children that cleaning your own home is a good thing. When I pressed her, she said she couldn’t justify the expense knowing it is a job they can do themselves. Their cost is that they have very little personal time. No time to sit and read a good book for example.
It is the dilemma of the working mother. We take on full time jobs when we already have full times job cooking, cleaning and taking care of the children so that makes two full time jobs. No wonder so many working mothers are exhausted! Something has to give and in the cases of my friends, it is cleanliness or personal time. Not something I’d be willing to give up unless I had a genuine love of cleaning my house, which I most certainly do not.
Today with all the recession news and uncertainty of our financial times, my friends could use that as further reason not to add the luxury of a house keeper to their budgets. My advice would be the opposite. The lower income earners NEED to make a living too and if they can’t because people are doing the cleaning themselves, then they end up defaulting on their mortgages and then the banks get into trouble and get bailed out by the government and then the government has to raise taxes or print more money which will be paid for by guess who—the middle classes! So either way, you’ll pay for it so you might as well get your house cleaned in the process.
If we want to keep the economy from going down the tubes we need to keep people employed, especially the people on the lower end of the scale. So do your bit today to improve your own sanity, reclaim a bit of cleanliness or personal time and hire a house cleaner to come at least once a month if not once a week.
You may find that if you make minor, subtle adjustments in your spending habits, you can easily afford this essential luxury. For example, if you and your husband both pack a lunch instead of eating out each day, you’ll have your housekeeper paid for that week. For one month keep a handwritten record of every single purchase down to a pack of gum and then review the list. Most people can easily make a few simple adjustments in order to employ a house cleaner without even feeling it. Swap toys with a neighbor instead of buying new toys for your kids. For one week enjoy a dinner and movie at home instead of out. You will discover small adjustments that do not diminish the quality or enjoyment of your lives.
Take my challenge: Try hiring a house cleaner for one month and if it you don’t think it is worth it, you can always go back to cleaning the home yourself. Think of this as your good deed to help the economy back to health.
Enjoy!
Talane
Talane’s Blog of the Week, September 8, 2008
I’ve just come back to England after a two-month book tour in the U.S. promoting my newest book, The Secret Laws of Attraction. I had a wonderful time! The New York City Seminar at the Ritz was fabulous ? we laughed and cried and had lovely lobster salad sandwiches to accompany all that. (If you missed NY, not to worry, I’m doing the same seminar on October 4th in London at the Ritz!). The book signing at Politics and Prose in Washington, DC went really well with 90 plus people jammed in and many very interesting questions from the audience. No surprise as my dear friend, Tracey Filar Atwood, from Georgetown organized the event in conjunction with the Georgetown Alumni Club so we had some super educated attendees.
My editor tells me that book sales for The Secret Laws of Attraction are doing very well. I’ve already gotten numerous emails from readers who have enjoyed the book and had some eye-opening ah-ha’s about their lives and their relationships. So a huge “thank you” to my loyal readers! During my flight over with the two girls I relied heavily on the kindness of strangers. A very king man from Elkart Lake in Wisconsin offered to hold my sleeping Sophia so that I could stretch my legs and get a bathroom break. And a grandmother sitting in front of us was very understanding when the girls were overtired and started crying. She offered them a piece of chocolate and later carried Sophia off the plane as I couldn’t manage the two sleeping girls myself. She even went on to help me with the luggage. I never once asked, but everywhere I went people saw that I needed help and very graciously offered assistance. This generosity and kindness reaffirms my faith in the human spirit and the goodness in people’s hearts.
After living in the UK for four years now, I found life in the states so easy and cheap. Yes, even with the hikes in gas prices it isn’t anywhere near the cost of gas in England at $8.00 a gallon. And it has been high in England for years. Eating out in restaurants here costs about twice as much as in the U.S. So, I ate my way through the U.S. and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I gained about 15 pounds in the process (no such thing as a free lunch!) so now I am back on a healthy regimen again. Tip: if you want to gain weight, try eating pastries for breakfast every day!
Initially, I was terribly disappointed in the lack of publicity. (I only had one interview with Selling Power magazine). Because there wasn’t much for me to do, I had the time to reconnect with my family and many of my dearest friends, many I had not seen in five years. That made everything completely worthwhile. I also had the rare opportunity to meet some of my clients in person as well. I was able to really relax and play with the girls for two months! I felt like a kid with summer off. And now I’m back, recharged, energized and raring to go. I feel so relaxed about things in general. If there is one thing that I wish I could import into the U.S. it would be a month off every summer. Paris closes for the month of August, and most Europeans take an extended summer holiday and their economies don’t fall apart. Why can’t we? Maybe the tourist industry could lobby the next president for this?
I’ve been rambling on so where is the coaching tip? The effect of taking a large chunk of time off (and I wasn’t even “off” entirely) is huge. Two weeks just really isn’t enough. It is so easy to get caught up in rushing around and being busy that you can lose sight of what really matters in life. And for me, this is being with my dearest friends and family and just playing and having fun. I noticed the difference when I took by daughter, Kaela, to school this morning and instead of feeling rushed and stressed, I was relaxed. This is probably the best result of all. I’m left with a profound sense of gratitude for having such wonderful people in my life and for the kindness of people the world over. Thank you!
Warmest,
Talane
Talane’s Tip for the Week of September 1, 2008
Clean Up Unfinished Business
Once you start nipping negative comments in the bud (last week's tip), you'll find you are keeping your relationships clean going forward. But what about the old unfinished
business you can't seem to let go of?
If you are still thinking about some comment your cousin made fifteen years ago, better to address it now than to let it stew for another fifteen years. I'm serious about this. If you are still thinking about a comment or insult then you haven't forgiven the person. Here is how to resolve this once and for all.
Call the person, tell him or her that something has been bothering you for a long time that you want to clear up. Then state in a calm tone the facts as you remember them. Just stick to the facts and don't add any emotion. The person may share with you his or her side of the story, or may not even remember the incident. Many people will graciously apologize. Some people might get defensive, in which case you probably weren't using a neutral tone of voice. It really doesn't matter how they respond. The point is for you to say what you haven't been saying all these years and ask for an apology or amends if appropriate. Then you can tell them that you forgive them.
Remember, it is only when we allow a history of little abuses to occur that we eventually lose our cool and come across as unprofessional. So clean up the old unfinished business, and going forward, politely nail them on the spot and people won't mess with you - they will respect you.
Excerpted from Coach Yourself to Success: 101 Tips from a Personal Coach for Reaching Your Goals at Work and in Life with permission from McGraw-Hill.
Talane’s Tip for the Week of August 25, 2008
Don’t Be a Duck
This tip will do wonders for building your self-confidence. The trick is to step over nothing. Get in the habit of addressing everything that bothers you on the spot or as soon as is possible and appropriate afterward. It seems easier to let those little negative comments and subtle digs roll off like water off a duck's back. So many of us erroneously assume that it's better to let the little stuff go by and save our breath for the big ones. The problem is all those little comments add up and can undermine your self-esteem. Don't ignore the little stuff. The time to inform is right away: "do you realize that you left the dirty dishes on the table?" Give up being the saint and start letting people know what bugs you. Don't tolerate unpleasant behavior from others. If your colleague makes a negative remark, instead of letting it slide by, simply inform: "do you realize that comment hurt me?" or "ouch, that hurts!" or "that remark was inappropriate". It doesn't take much to put an end to these destructive comments, whether they come from friends, family, colleagues or strangers. Use the 4-step communication model (inform, request, insist, leave) and keep your tone of voice neutral. You will soon find that people won't
be making these sorts of comments about you. You will keep your relationships clean and your confidence will go up.
Excerpted from Coach Yourself to Success: 101 Tips from a Personal Coach for Reaching Your Goals at Work and in Life with permission from McGraw-Hill.
Talane’s Tip for the Week of July 14, 2008
Have Something to Look Forward to Every Day
It is amazing how quickly our lives can become drab and colorless if we do not have something to look forward to. We wait far too long for that once-a-year vacation or that
special event. That just isn't enough. Or it might be enough, but being successful is not about having just enough - it's about abundance. You need an abundance of good things to look forward to - as a bare minimum at least one thing every day. And don't overlook the simple things, which are often the most rewarding.
To get you thinking, here are some things you could look forward to: a half hour alone, a walk in the woods with your significant other, a bike ride through the park, taking a bubble bath, seeing a play, trying out a new restaurant.
What is your ideal morning or evening? Treat yourself with as many elements of your ideal day as possible, and you will be happier and more energized throughout the day. Take a few minutes right now to write down in vivid detail your ideal day from the moment you wake up in the morning until you fall asleep at night. How many elements of your ideal day are possible to do every day starting right now? Give yourself the time to enjoy your day and you'll be glad to get up and start every morning.
Excerpted from Coach Yourself to Success: 101 Tips from a Personal Coach for Reaching Your Goals at Work and in Life with permission from McGraw-Hill.
Talane’s Tip for the Week of June 30, 2008
Taking Care of Your Best Asset
“So much is a man worth as he esteems himself.” Francois Rabelais, Gargantua and Pantagruel
I used to think that only the rich could afford to indulge in exceptional self-care on a regular basis, and the rest of us folks would just have to be content with an occasional splurge. But now I see that it works in reverse: you attract the wealth and opportunities simply by taking exceptionally good care of yourself.
When you take better care of yourself, you start believing that you are worth more. You are sending out the message to the universe that you deserve more, and thus it isn’t surprising that you attract more. You only have what you think you deserve to have. Napoleon Hill had this figured out years ago in his classic book, Think and Grow Rich when he said, “No one is ready for a thing until he believes he can acquire it. The state of mind must be belief, not mere hope or wish.” Hill’s point is that you must know with certainty that you can have it. If you are hoping and wishing, then the message you are sending out is one of lack. The most effective way I’ve seen to increase your own readiness and willingness to have what you want is to start perfecting the present and doing the things you don’t think you deserve. It is like building a muscle by working out with weights. You have to stretch and expand your willingness to have by doing things that you don’t think you deserve to do.
There is a reason this comes after the money part—it is easier if you’ve handled the money. But don’t wait until you win the lottery to start. You can begin by focusing on what you want, not on the money it would take to buy it. So what is the one thing you can afford to do right now that seems like an incredible luxury? Do that! No matter how little or how much money you have, there is something you can do to spoil yourself this week. I am booking a hot stone massage for starters!
Enjoy!
Talane
Excerpted from Coach Yourself to Success: 101 Tips from a Personal Coach for Reaching Your Goals at Work and in Life with permission from McGraw-Hill.
Talane’s Tip for the Week of June 9, 2008
Law of Attraction Tip #25
Become More Sensitive
The more aware and the more sensitive you are, the easier it is to see the opportunities around you and the more attractive you will become. In order to be fully present and experience the moment, it helps if you are fully aware of what is happening around you. There is joy in the subtleties of any given moment. Most of us have a few vices that distract us from the present. In order to really feel what is going on in our lives, it helps to eliminate a few of the distractions as well as the things that keep us numb or on automatic pilot and just keep us moving without thinking, feeling or being particularly conscious or aware.
Last week I talked about simplifying my own life so that I didn’t have the feeling of rushing around all the time. And that meant getting off automatic pilot. We hid the TV in the spare room for a week to break ourselves of the TV habit and it was amazing how much peace that gave us. And I took a number of long hot baths to just sit and think about my life and had time to notice the incredibly beautiful light at that time of the day.
Getting rid of clutter is a very easy way to become clearer mentally as well. I now know myself well enough to know that I’ll never clean my own desk because I’ll get distracted and start writing something or doing something more interesting. I spent two hours with my assistant and did a big clear-out of the office on Friday. Talk about the magic of attraction…on Monday I got a huge royalty check in the mail! (I knew it was coming but it was three times as much as usual! Coach Yourself to Success is doing really well in Germany!) If you have a messy desk that you can’t seem to clear, don’t try doing it yourself, get help! In fact, if you are struggling with anything, just get someone to help you and you’ll find it is so easy! Instead of spending the whole day in misery trying to clean up my desk, I did it in two hours!
Ask yourself, is there anything that is numbing or diverting you from being fully sensitive to the present moment? (Caffeine, drugs, alcohol, sugar, television, clutter, noise?)
Cut one thing out this week and replace a self-destructive habit with a good one…like reading books in place of TV or drinking herbal teas instead of caffeine.
Enjoy!
Talane
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Tip fo the Week of June 2, 2008
Law of Attraction Tip #24
Simplify Everything
Simplifying is one of the best attraction techniques out there. When we eliminate the complexities of life, the constant rushing around and the busyness of life, than we can see what is really important and design our lives and that. When we create space in our lives, we attract all sorts of wonderful opportunities.
I whipped out Elaine St. James, book, Living the Simple Life, and was stunned when I read the tip about getting off automatic pilot. How had I missed this? I quote her here:
”One of the things that made it possible for me to keep going at high speed until I simplified my life was an innate ability to race through my day on automatic pilot. I think this is true for a lot of us.”
She points out that we’re used to rolling out of bed in the morning, dashing through the shower, eating breakfast while reading the paper, packing the kids off to school, driving to work on automatic while thinking about everything else, going through our work day, etc. Then back home again we fall into an evening routine, dinner, clean up, television, all on automatic. And, while weekends might present some break from the routine, we end up going to the same restaurants, see the same people, and go to the same places. I realized that I had fallen into the trap of being on automatic pilot. Even on weekends, my husband and I would always go to the same restaurants and order the same things! We just didn’t even have the space to think about what else we could try or do and so we just did the same old thing.
St. James points out that “Living on automatic pilot is often what makes it possible for us to do all the things we feel we have to do. We squeeze into our days new chores or commitments, adding another errand here, another lunch date there, without considering whether we really have the time to do them, let alone the desire.”
Her solution: put some air in back in your days so you can take the scenic route to work and enjoy the drive or have a leisurely breakfast with the family instead of a rushed scramble. The key is to eliminate the tasks and activities that you don’t really enjoy and orient your life around your real pleasures.
If we simply run through life on automatic pilot, we aren’t really present and we aren’t really enjoying life. We are just passing through. In my own life, I’ve noticed that I’m not enjoying our morning routines and in fact, get quite irritable with my daughter. No matter how much time we have, we always seem harried and rushed at the last minute getting the girls to nursery school. And evening meals can be a harrowing experience as well as we seem to rush through our meal so we can clean up and get the kids in the bath and read the stories. These are the two most precious times of the day and yet, I’m not happy with how we are living them. I’m going to take one of the tips and try a weekly menu plan so that every night we know what to have for dinner and aren’t frantically scrambling around to create something. This will in turn, simplify the shopping and make it really easy for me to stay on budget with the food. Instead of going out to dinner with my husband, we picked up some Chinese and ate it on the beach while watching the sun set. It was so romantic (and a lot less expensive)!
I’ll keep you posted on how this goes. As for the morning routine, I’ve taken Kaela out of the nursery school we had to drive to so that we can walk with her instead, which will give me a little exercise as well!
This week, simplify a few things so that you have some breathing room in your schedule (try hiding the TV for just one week) and then start to consider how else you might simplify your life.
Warmest,
Talane
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Tip fo the Week of May 26, 2008
Law of Attraction Tip #23
Recognize and Tell the Truth
We can’t help but be drawn to people who recognize and tell the truth about themselves. I’ll never forget the time I was in a three-day seminar and the seminar leader got up in front of the room and the first thing he said was, “You are all probably wondering how on earth I can see out of these tiny eyes.” And we all burst out laughing because it was exactly what we were thinking. His eyes were remarkably tiny! He won us over instantly by speaking about the very thing we were thinking and making a joke about it. He would eventually have won us over in time, but he managed to do it instantly by simply telling the truth about himself. Then there was the time I was out for hamburgers and beer in NYC with my cousin and one of her girlfriends I had never met before. We had a great time and when the check came, she grabbed it immediately and said, “I’m as anal retentive as they come so forgive me, but I’m going to have to break this down to the penny.” as she whipped out her calculator. My cousin and I laughed and didn’t mind a bit because she was so honest and funny about it. If she hadn’t addressed it, we might have been left slightly annoyed, thinking, “Man, is she ever tight!” Instead, because she openly admitted she was tight, we didn’t have to think about it and ended thinking she was great.
In both cases, these people took a perceived “flaw” or an annoying tendency perhaps and made us love them for it. They did this by telling the truth about themselves. “I’m a guy with ridiculously small eyes.” “I’m a woman who is compulsive about money.” We love it when people tell the truth about themselves in a light and honest way. So you can use your so called “faults” and imperfections whether they are physical or otherwise to win people over. What we love is their straightforward openness….their admission that they have a perceived “flaw” without making a big deal of it.
What is a “flaw” you are trying to hide? How can you use it to become irresistibly attractive to others?
Enjoy!
Talane
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Tip for the Week of May 19, 2008
Play the Financial Independence Game
Tip #29 from Coach Yourself to Success
For this week's tip, I thought I'd include this wonderful success story I received from a reader of Coach Yourself to Success. So often, we think we need to have a million dollars or more in the bank before we can retire. If you sit down with a financial planner, you might get staggering numbers. But here is a great example of how you can "retire" early with a whole lot less than a million or even $250,000. It all depends on where and how you live! Many people could free themselves up by trading in their lifestyle for a real life.
"Thanks Talane, love these tips, love your book and love hearing your personal stories.
I first read your book many years ago and found that it really stood out from other coaching books. I got so excited and inspired about it that I couldn't sleep. I particularly liked the getting your needs met parts so that you don't need anything and then it comes to you anyway. Also I liked the money section on having $250,000 in the bank and then living off the interest. This idea had never struck me before and I was so inspired by it and I realised that this is so what I wanted. So, in my head I made it my goal straight away and I carried this thought around with me everywhere I went. Loved the freedom of the whole idea and was prepared to sacrifice an expensive lifestyle for a simple lifestyle to allow me the freedom that I was craving. I had been in an uninspiring job for 16 years and my energy was stagnant. I was trapped in there by the good salary that I was paid. It's not that I didn't want to work but I love the idea of not needing to work and being able to walk away from a job that I don't like because I have this nice little passive income coming in. I could work part time and also earn an extra few hundred dollars a week to add to this. I happy to say that I am on my way to my goal. Currently I am having a break from work as I have $160,000 in the bank I am living off the interest of 8% Australian dollars. But I am living in Singapore with my partner. Given the exchange rate this has given me a nice little income and allows me to travel around Asia. I plan on adding to this $160,000 eventually but right now I live a simple lifestyle and I don't need to work. I love this freedom and I love it that I am on my way to achieving my dream.
Thank you for inspiring me!"
Kind regards,
Becky
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Tip for the Week of May 5, 2008
Law of Attraction Tip #22 – See How Perfect the Present Really Is
Just last week I had an “ah ha” moment in my life. I suddenly realized that I was having one of the best times of my life. My two girls are 3 years old and 16 months and it is very easy to get exhausted by them. I never seem to get enough sleep and they are, at times, incredibly difficult. The youngest, Sophia, threw a tantrum the other day and rolled around on the floor kicking and screaming and there was nothing I could do to calm her down so I just let her go for it. On the flip side they are also asking for cuddles and love to snuggle. They will soon grow up and need a lot less cuddling. These are times to cherish. They are so darn cute at this stage, tantrums and all. Although I don’t have as much time as I’d like to spend with my friends, we are surrounded by really great friends and they are there ready to help out at any time to lend a hand or an ear or to go out and have fun. We live in a fabulous house that we’ve just about finished doing the construction on, walking distance to the sea. I love my work, coaching people and it is a natural talent which makes it fun and easy. My dreams come true. Okay, so we are a bit strapped financially. The girls wear second hand clothes, we eat lots of beans and rice, the newly installed radiator has a leak, I still haven’t gotten my pre-pregnancy body back…it isn’t all perfect if you look too closely. But it is. It is all too easy to miss the good times in our lives and not recognize them for how great they really are. It is usually when we look back at those peak experiences, those particularly wonderful years or times in our lives that we then realize how great they were. The key is to start appreciating life now. When you can see the perfection in the imperfections, you’ve got it.
Enjoy your life now!
Best,
Talane
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Tip for the Week of April 28, 2008
Law of Attraction Tip #21 – Strengthen Your Strengths
I’ve been working with one of my business coaching clients for several months now – a very successful entrepreneur and business owner in his mid fifties. He could easily retire but found that he couldn’t stand doing nothing. At the same time, he didn’t want the stresses of his regular work. We quickly eliminated one of the lines of business which he was running that caused the most stress and already he is much happier. This one change enabled him to cut his work week by about 20 hours so he has more time to enjoy his family. He was wondering if life coaching might be a good new career that would keep him mentally challenged without the headaches.
Whenever a client is considering a different career path I always recommend taking the Highlands Ability Battery™ Program. It is a three-hour, very comprehensive strengths assessment. And, what is amazing about this assessment is that it looks at your hard-wired strengths, not your learned skills or your IQ. And then it handily ranks your strengths from top to bottom so you can clearly see what you are naturally good at and what you aren’t. The truly fabulous thing about this assessment is that it can spot hidden strengths—things you might be able to do naturally and effortlessly but never had a chance to do.
The business coaching client above had a hidden strength—it turns out that he has all three of the abilities needed to be a very talented musician (rhythm memory, tonal memory and pitch discrimination) and he has these in spades. Somehow, he never tried playing an instrument even though he enjoys listening to music and has a very good ear. My guess is that he will, very quickly, be able to learn to play just about any instrument he chooses, given his natural abilities in this area. Most people who have such a strong untapped ability find that this discovery gives great joy and a deep satisfaction that may have eluded them all their lives.
And, the report also confirmed that yes, life coaching would also be a good career for him. Always nice to know up front before you invest thousands of dollars and years of training!
What does this have to do with the laws of attraction? Mastery of anything is very attractive. And, it is much easier to become a master of something if it is one of your hard-wired natural strengths. Waste no more time developing your weaknesses! Instead focus and invest in your strengths and watch the world come to you!
Warmest,
Talane
P.S. If you are changing careers or considering a new path in life or simply don’t want to waste your education dollars and would like to do the Highlands Ability Battery™ Program, please let me know as I’d love to work with you on this
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Tip for the Week of April 21, 2008
Law of Attraction Tip #20 – Discover Your Unique Talent
We all have some special talent, skill, or gift—something we do or some way we see things different or better than anyone else. Very often what comes naturally to you is so much a part of you that you don’t even notice it. People tend to think that if it is easy for them, then it is easy for everyone else too. This just isn’t so. You might think that if it is easy or fun, and you don’t sweat and struggle then you shouldn’t get paid for it. In fact it is more often the opposite: the people who make the most money love what they do and have some natural ability that they have honed and developed. If you can’t figure out what your special talent is, interview your friends, family and colleagues. They will tell you. Here are five questions you can ask them:
After collecting this data, the next step is to begin to honor your gift. By that I mean that you fully express it. Share it with others. Do it. Be it. Live it. Create a project around it. Remember, that your own special skill comes so easily and naturally that you probably take it for granted! Those who take their special talent and master it, are attractive. We love mastery!
Enjoy!
Talane
Excerpted from Tip 54 Coach Yourself to Success by Talane Miedaner
Copyright © 2000 McGraw Hill
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Tip for the Week of April 14, 2008
Law of Attraction Tip #19 – Do the Important Stuff First
This month’s April newsletter had a very simple tip that makes all the difference between being in control and on top of your work and feeling like you are always catching up and running behind. I’m highlighting it here because it is so effective it is worth expanding upon.
The natural, instinctive thing to do when you arrive at your office is to check your voicemail and emails first. Don’t do it! You may be opening a can of worms! The best thing you can do to improve your efficiency and performance is to give your first, best hour of the day to your most important project or current initiative. . Work on that special big project. Write that report. Prepare for the big meeting. Make that important call. Work on whatever your current, most important initiative is and do that for one hour first thing every day. Then, and only then, open your inbox.
Now, no matter what else happens for the rest of the day, you’ll know you are making real progress on what is most important. If you open your inbox first, it may very well end up taking over and dictating the rest of the day. You have no doubt already experienced this effect personally.
I found myself falling into the unproductive habit of checking emails first to see if any of my clients had news or updates for me. Applying this tip to my own life, I deliberately sat down and planned out my day. What was the single most important activity for the day? To write the April newsletter. I did that first and it didn’t take as long as I had thought. (When you concentrate without interruption and are fresh you’ll be amazed at how quickly you can get things done.) Then I opened up the emails. It felt great to know that I had already completed the most important job. If I had opened the emails first, then there might not have been time for the newsletter as they can easily consume an entire day. This is based on the law of attraction: what you focus on expands…focus on your emails and they will multiply faster than rabbits. Emails create more emails. Focus on your important projects and you quickly get big results.
The 80/20 rule is that we get 80% of our results from 20% of our efforts. And that important 20% is what makes all the difference in our work. It is very easy to spend our entire day responding to emails and calls—the 80% of our work that only yields a 20% results. In fact, I could probably spend an entire week just looking at my current inbox of emails and not make any progress on my big projects. This is where my dear friend’s motto, “Good enough is good enough” comes to mind. It may not be necessary to answer ever single email or call that you receive. Pick out your most important project and give that your best hour of the day.
Enjoy!
Talane
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Tip for the Week of April 7, 2008
Law of Attraction Tip #18 – Letting Go
My assistant has a little tea tin and wrote “God Can” on the top. When she can’t handle something, she writes a little note and puts it in the God Can. It’s about letting go and trusting that God can handle it when she can’t. In December she moved her aging mother into an apartment nearby and put her mother’s house up for sale in January. The housing market is very slow right now and it wasn’t selling, which was creating a serious cash flow problem for Faye and her husband who were helping her mother with expenses. She’d forgotten to put it in her God Can and realized she needed to turn it over to let God handle it. That was on March 11th. And that evening, her realtor called her with two contracts. And, it was a cash sale which closed on March 31st much to her absolute delight!
I love this idea of a “God Can” and you can adapt this tip to whatever spiritual or religious belief you have. It could be a “Buddha Can” and “Allah Can” or a “The Universe Can”.
The key is letting go of the problem and trusting that it will get handled.
Enjoy!
Talane
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Tip for the Week of March 31, 2008
Law of Attraction Tip #17- Imagine The Universe Plays Hot and Cold with You
When I was a little girl looking for Easter eggs hidden in the house, our parents would play “hot and cold” with us. If we were getting closer to the hidden egg, we were getting warmer and if we were right on top of it, we were boiling hot. If we moved further from the egg we were getting colder until we were absolutely freezing if headed in the completely wrong direction.
Now, as an adult, I imagine that the universe plays hot and cold with me. If I am headed in the wrong direction, working in the wrong career or following the wrong path, things get difficult and unpleasant and sometimes even uncomfortable. When I was working at the bank and heading up the management ladder (wrong career path!) I had to drag myself out of bed in the morning. After hitting the snooze alarm countless times and drinking a cup of coffee to jumpstart myself I finally got out the door. While walking to work, my body would occasionally seize up with a back spasm and I’d be frozen for a few minutes until I relaxed and was able to keep on going. My body was literally stopping me in my tracks on the way to work. I clearly did not want to be going where I was going and my body knew it! Conversely, when I started life coaching part-time in the evenings, I found it easy to attract coaching clients and wonderful opportunities landed in my lap. It was so easy and so much fun that I wondered if it was a viable career path. I got my answer when a personal coaching client said she was getting so much value from the coaching that she wanted to pay me more than I was asking. This path was fun, easy and enjoyable. I could work all day at the bank, come home exhausted and drained, take a half hour nap on the sofa and then start coaching. After a few hours of coaching, I was so energized; I’d find it hard to go to sleep at 11 p.m. This was the right path for me without a doubt. And years later, when I took The Highlands Ability Battery™ I discovered that management, even though I had been successful at it, was one of my weaknesses, and that coaching was one of my top strengths. It would have been nice to know this earlier on, but by following the hot and cold signals from the universe, I finally got on the right path.
Imagine that the universe is playing “hot and cold” with you? What direction feels nice and toasty warm? Go there and you are on the way!
Warmest,
Talane
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Blog for the Week of March 24, 2008
To Do Lists–A Variety of Methods from our Readers
A big thank you to the numerous readers around the world who wrote in response to last week’s blog on To Do Lists and sent in their suggestions. I have compiled a few of them here. If you aren’t 100% happy with your system, see if any of these sound right for you. There is not one right way, so experiment until you find the system that really works for you and leaves you feeling empowered, accomplished and in control.
Warmest,
Talane
A Single Mother’s Method:
I have been writing a daily To Do List for the past 20 years I couldn't survive without it. I'll write the list the night before all the things I need to accomplish the following day. I divide it in three parts morning my job as a teacher, after school errands and evening events. I find this works and I get a lot completed in all three areas of my life job, personal needs and night responsibilities.
The Yearly Plan Method:
I'm an avid Finnish reader of Talane's blog. I bought her book years ago, and have now returned to it due to great on-going life changes. I just thought to drop you a quick note, as a few comments came to mind on a couple of the blogs. Personally I have found it helpful to divide my weekly master to-do list into two categories: things that must get done and things that I would like to get done. On the left hand side of the landscape oriented A4 sheet, I have a list of the weekdays. Into these I enter appointments and reminders that are specific for that day. Then I make daily to-do lists from this master list. I also set my goals for each year and then break them down into monthly goals. It's a great way to help me move in the direction that I want.
The High Tech Method:
This is the way I work with a To Do List.
I have a master list in Microsoft Outlook. I sort my tasks by category and date. Every morning I put new tasks on the list and I can remove some tasks. Then I import the tasks for that day into a Mind Map program. During the day I work with the Mind Map.
The Aesthetics’ Method:
What works for me is a BEAUTIFUL notebook where I write all of my things to do. Because it is a beautiful book I don't mind using it and looking at it. Every time I use it it makes me smile just because of the fact that I LOVE the design of the book.
From Ask A Coach
What a fortune that you're sharing your (and other people's) tips. I love it
that these are practical tips. I'll share a new system for a to do list. I use tiny yellow Post it notes,
the smallest that are available. I write one task on each of them. That is my master list.Then I chose the ones I want to do today and put these on (or in) my notebook. If I didn't manage to do a task, I put it back on my master list. If I did a task I put the note aside, view my achievements at the end of the day and then throw the pile of yellow notes away. This saves me from rewriting the master list again and again. Plus I can easily organize the tasks that are connected (like in a specific order) by arranging them from left to right.
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane Miedaner
Master Certified Life Coach
Author of the International Bestseller, Coach Yourself to Success
Acclaimed Life Coach, Personal Coach, Executive Coach
Talane’s Blog for the Week of March 10, 2008
The Power of a To-Do List
Sometimes an author needs to eat some crow. And I’m about to do that now. In my book, Coach Yourself to Success, Tip #64 “Toss Your To-Do List” I advise readers to toss their to-do lists as well as their goal lists. I wrote that when I was 29. Now at the age of 42 I’m discovering that a To-Do List is a very handy thing indeed. I need to make a list for everything or I will forget about it completely. After giving birth to two girls, missing over a full year of sleep and drinking soy milk for too many years, my short-term memory just isn’t what it used to be. I’m hoping it will improve when my hormones settle down, but right now I’m very glad to have a to-do list on hand to remind me what I wanted to do. Perhaps it is just the added complexities of managing a new family while looking after aging in-laws and of course, running an international coaching company from overseas, writing a book, and redesigning a website. There is just a bit too much going on for me to operate without a list. So, list in hand, away I go. My first experience in making a list was that it was demoralizing. There were so many things on the list to do I felt immediately behind, not to mention overwhelmed. There is no way I can just whip through all of these projects. So the big massive list is my Master of All Lists with everything and sundry, both business and personal written down.
Every day I look at the Master of All Lists and I select the few things that are most important to do today and schedule those in my calendar and then put the Master List away. This has been very effective as I feel good at the end of the day knowing I’ve done what is most important. Is everything done? No, but it would be impossible to do everything because I keep adding new things to the Master List. As a bonus, I get the satisfaction of checking things off two lists—my daily schedule and the Master List.
This seems to be working. I now feel at peace knowing I have a list and don’t have to try to remember everything. I’ll keep you posted on developments and also welcome any suggestions from others who have an empowering To-Do List.
Warmest,
Talane
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane Miedaner
Master Certified Life Coach
Author of the International Bestseller, Coach Yourself to Success
Acclaimed Life Coach, Personal Coach, Executive Coach
Talane’s Classic Tip for the Week of March 3, 2008
Earn What You Deserve
Now that you've cut your expenses, it's time to get to work on the second half of the money equation: increasing your income. If you work for someone else, you can ask for a raise. If you own your own business, you may be able to raise your fees or add another product or service. If you are already making more than the market rate, perhaps you could moonlight to raise your income.
Let's start with how to ask for a raise. Find out what people at similar companies doing your job are earning. Business magazines publish national salary averages so look at the library or on the internet or call up friends who work for other companies and ask them. Write down a list of all your accomplishments over the past 6 months to one year and type it up in a memo. You will want to build a strong case for why you deserve a raise. Use as many concrete, numeric figures as possible and demonstrate how your performance helped improve the bottom line. Your boss may not remember everything you did. Stick to the positive facts. Then request a meeting to discuss your performance in person. At the meeting, ask for what you want. The person who asks and makes a solid case is much more likely to receive a raise than the person who may be working just as hard, but never states his or her own case.
If you own your own business and have already cut your expenses, it may be appropriate to raise your fee or rates. To do this you need to be continually adding value to your services so the increase is worth it for your current clients. Moonlighting can be a great way to make extra money while experimenting with a different field. If you are wondering where you will find the time, try turning off the TV. The average American watches more than 20 hours a week – enough for a part-time job. What are other creative ways you could increase your income? Perhaps a hobby could net a little extra income if you got creative. What about leveraging your natural strengths? If you are super organized, you could moonlight as a professional organizer. Take a moment and write down ten possible ways you could increase your income.
Excerpted from Coach Yourself to Success by Talane Miedaner
Copyright © 2000 McGraw Hill
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Classic Tip for the Week of February 25, 2008
Go On A Money Diet
One of the fastest ways to break the spending habit is to go on a money diet. For thirty days, stop spending. Make no purchases whatsoever other than the bare essentials like toilet paper, groceries, etc. Hold off on all other purchases. It is okay to make a list of the things you'd like to buy, but during the 30 day period, DO NOT BUY ANYTHING. Go grocery shopping no more than once a week and do not buy that magazine or pack of gum at the checkout. Make sure you have all the essentials on hand before you begin the money diet. If you want to buy gifts for a wedding or birthday coming up, buy them in advance to decrease the temptation of going into the store.
One client tried the money diet and discovered a wealth of creative solutions and resources she had never noticed before. Since she couldn't buy books, she found herself at the library, checking out books, videos and CDs. She couldn't buy bagels out, so she began making breakfast at home and created a pleasant family ritual. Instead of going out for dinner and a movie with her husband, she packed sandwiches and they took long walks and had picnics. They found time to talk about their life and make plans together, which improved their relationship as well. Going on a money diet helped her get in touch with the simple pleasures of life that are so rich - and she saved $500!
Once you have broken the spending habit, you will discover the joy of saving. Extra money gives you a wonderful sense of security along with the freedom to do what you want – and who wouldn't want that?
Excerpted from Coach Yourself to Success by Talane Miedaner
Copyright © 2000 McGraw Hill
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Classic Tip for the Week of February 18, 2008
Pay Off Your Debts
In the past 20 years, it has become socially acceptable to have debts. It used to be that people saved money for what they wanted and then bought it; now it is the other way around. To cost is high, and not just the interest. It is stressful to have debt. You may be so used to having debt and using credit cards that you don't even realize how stressful it is. In fact, until you are completely debt free, you won't believe what a relief it is.
When I started my first job after graduating, I felt rich. In no time I had tapped into 5 different credit cards and a line of credit. I dreaded opening the bills, never knowing exactly how much it would be. I had no idea how stressful this was until I paid off all my credit cards and loans using the plan described by Jerrold Mundis in his book "How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt and Live Prosperously". It took me about 2 years to pay off thousands of dollars of debt.
All that debt is stressful and drains your energy, making it very difficult to attract the people and opportunities you want. If you are in way over your head, contact a credit counseling service in your community or the Debt Management Program run by the federal government. They will take all your credit cards and arrange a monthly repayment schedule with your creditors. The skills and habits you develop to pay off your debts are the same ones you will need to build a financial reserve. Don't be discouraged. If you feel buried under debt, get Mundis' book. The more closely you stick to the plan outlined in the book, the sooner you'll be out of debt and the easier it will be to attract the things you want.
Excerpted from Coach Yourself to Success by Talane Miedaner
Copyright © 2000 McGraw Hill
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Tip for the Week of February 11, 2008
Law of Attraction Tip #16 – The Magic of Three
One of my highly successful clients shared one of his very effective tips for powerful relationships both in business and in his personal life called “The Magic of Three.” The key to making sure your spouse, date, manager or employee feels really special is to do three special things in one day. All it takes is three little things to make someone feel wonderful. And the combined impact of doing three in one day is better than doing one small thing a day. Here is an example of how this might work. In the morning, you might bring your mate a cup of tea or coffee, just the way they like it, in bed or leave a sticky note on the bathroom mirror saying, “Morning, gorgeous!” You might send an email or call at midday and say, “Just called to say I love you!” And at night, you might put a chocolate on their pillow and turn down the covers. Three little tiny gestures cost little to nothing and take hardly any time at all - but the impact is huge. Your partner will feel very loved and special. And, you can do this sporadically with different gestures so that it doesn’t become expected or routine.
This past weekend, I personally experienced “The Magic of Three” at the American Embassy in London — the last place on earth I would have expected it! We had to present our one-year-old daughter, Sophia, in person at the embassy in order to get her U.S. Citizenship, Passport and Social Security number as she was born in England. Months in advance I reserved the appointment and sent in the paperwork. We expected to wait for hours while the wheels of bureaucracy slowly turned. A grim task, but it had to be done. Much to my surprise, the consular officer was a very special man and he turned a boring administrative task into a very special ceremony. Whether he was aware of it or not, he used “The Magic of Three”. First, while others at the embassy were wearing jeans and casual clothes, he wore a suit and tie. Second, he didn’t use an ordinary plastic pen to sign the documents, he had a fountain pen and a beautiful signature to go with it. He made sure I noticed that this was a special ceremony by saying he takes special care when signing the certificate so that his signature is legible in the years to come. It was when he said this that I noticed his fountain pen and lovely signature. Then he very carefully blotted his signature so that it wouldn’t run. Third, he said with proper solemnity and warmth, “Sophia Penelope Fox is, as of the moment of her birth, an American citizen” and added a heartfelt, “Congratulations!” One thousand people go through the American Embassy a day and this man must have performed this task countless times, but he made it very special by doing three small things that were unexpected. He could very easily have been bored and just rubber-stamped his way through, but he took just a few seconds extra to make it a very special occasion. I left the embassy feeling absolutely delighted. I was so proud, I felt like framing her certificate. All because one man knew “The Magic of Three”.
Use “The Magic of Three” with everyone around you and you’ll leave a wake of delighted people wherever you go. It takes no time and it costs nothing so you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Enjoy!
Talane
Talane Miedaner is a Master Certified Coach and an Accredited Life Coach. She is the author of the international bestseller, Coach Yourself to Success: 101 Tips from a Personal Coach for Reaching Your Goals at Work and in Life and numerous audio programs, including, Irresistible Attraction™: A Way of Life.
Go to www.lifecoach.com to find the perfect coach for you whether you are looking for a personal coach, business coach, executive coach, career coach or, of course, a life coach. Change your life and try a free life coaching call today!
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Tip for the Week of February 11, 2008
Law of Attraction Tip #15 – The Power of Thought
This Attraction Tip was also included in the February 8, 2008 Newsletter.
The more clearly you imagine and picture what it is you want, the more likely you are to attract it. When you take your vision and write it down, draw a picture or make a collage you are much more likely to effortlessly attract what you want. This technique for attracting what you want is so powerful and effective it seems like magic, but it isn’t. The fact is, your thoughts are not fluffy, insubstantial stuff – they are real. I’m not the first author to insist that the key to success is harnessing the power of thought. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, is a classic example. And the scientific proof that thoughts are real is old news.
“The April 5, 1999 Newsweek article, “Thinking Will Make it So” by Sharon Begley describes how thoughts are electrical signals that can be picked up by an electroencephalograph (EEG) to control mechanical equipment. Neurobiologist Niels Birbaumer of Germany’s University of Tübingen has six patients with sound minds trapped in completely paralyzed bodies. Living with the aid of machines, these patients are wired to a “thought translation device” which amplifies their brain waves and enables them to select letters of the alphabet from a computer video screen and compose sentences. Here’s how they did it: Tübingen’s team placed electrodes behind the patient’s ear and on the scalp. The electrodes are designed to detect brain waves and carry them to an EEG, which picks out a single type of wave from the many waves, much like you’d tune in a radio to pick up a favourite station. After hundreds of hours of practice the patients learned to control their brain waves, by focusing on an audio tone. Once they master this they can spell out words on a video screen using only their thoughts. The researcher’s next project is to go wireless by creating electronics sensitive enough to “grab” brain waves out of the air. The groundbreaking science proves that thoughts are not only real, but interact with the environment.
Once again, it all comes back to energy. Thoughts are electrical signals—just another form of energy as real as a solid mahogany desk. Science is catching up to what many radical or New Age thinkers have been saying all along—that our thoughts create our reality. Only there is nothing mystical or magical about it—it is simply the power of thought.”*
—More readers have sent in examples of how they have used the power of thought to create the reality they want:
Sent: 05 February 2008 00:53
To: talane@lifecoach.com
Subject: write it down or draw it or say it!
Your story about the woman who wrote down a description of her future husband reminded me of a true story of a couple we’re friends with. When she was single, the wife, who is a professional artist and illustrator, drew an exact picture of her future husband as one of the illustrations for a book. This was several years before she met him… but the likeness is unbelievably exact! Such a cute story!
For myself – I find that without fail, any time I hang up a copy of W.B. Yeats poem “The Lake Isle of Inisfree” (“I will arise and go now, and go to Inisfree…”) where I see it all the time, I end up getting to take a trip to my most favorite place in the world, Ireland. Very often the trips occur totally serendipitously – not necessarily through my own planning.
Dear Talane,
Thanks so much for your tips. My whole life comes from just what you described – I started doing creative visualisation in the 80's while "stuck" in New York. I dreamed of living in France, speaking French, getting married having kids and raising bi-lingual children. These were all separate exercises of course, and it took some time but it all came to pass.
Most recently, while looking through magazines, I found my perfect little house and little dog and cut them out and stuck them on a big poster board. Well, I am writing from the house and Cowboy, my dog (who looks EXACTLY like the cut out) is at my feet.
I am still dreaming of worldwide travel, particularly to Asia and to having a full-blown business. Think I'll describe these and cut out pictures again for good measure. I'll keep you posted.
Meanwhile, keep those excellent tips coming!
Much love,
MJ
Mary-Jeanne “MJ” Cabanel is a Personal and Professional Coach and can be reached at mjcabanel@gmail.com. You can read her profile at www.lifecoach.com in the International Coaching Directory.
How does this actually work? Well, I’m a life coach, not a neurobiologist, but, my best guess is that the act of drawing, writing or making a collage is taking your vague thoughts and crystallizing them. You have to be very specific and clear to write something down or draw a picture. And the act of doing so is “making it real” in the physical world. So while the thoughts are real in your head, by making your vision or dream physically viewable it becomes real in reality and therefore, real to you. Then it is just a matter of time before you will attract it. The coaching program/process helps do two things: 1) clarify your thoughts and 2) it dramatically speeds up the time in which you manifest your vision in reality. This I’ve personally seen after coaching thousands of people. If you want to speed up the rate of return, try working with a life coach or working the personal coaching program outlined into Coach Yourself to Success book and the Coach Yourself to Success Workbook .
Enjoy!
Warmest,
Talane
*Excerpted from Tip 101 from the international bestseller, Coach Yourself to Success: 101 Tips from a Personal Coach for Reaching Your Goals at Work and in Life by Talane Miedaner.
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Tip for the Week of February 4, 2008
Law of Attraction Tip #14 – Write It Down!
Last week’s tip sounded like hooey balooey to some—about attracting what you want effortlessly simply by writing it down. In fact, one person decided it was such nonsense and asked, not very nicely, to be removed from the subscribers list, which of course we did immediately. Then, I received a number of emails from readers who did in fact effortlessly attract exactly what they wanted. Here are two inspiring examples that demonstrate that this is, in fact, a very effective way of getting what you want, whether that is a relationship, a house or the ideal career.
Example #1
Sent: 29 January 2008 21:49
To: talane@lifecoach.com
I loved your tip this week. When I was 37 and single for the longest time ever, someone suggested that I visualize the man I wanted to meet and what we would do together.
I did just that. I wrote down all his qualities on a piece of paper. I imagined the kinds of things we would do and enjoy together. Within a couple of months I met him. He had every quality on the list and we enjoy all the things I imagined – sipping our morning coffee together on the patio outside, doing the crossword puzzle together and hiking. We’ve been together 3 years and just celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary on Sunday.
Happily Married
Example #2
Sent: 29 January 2008 19:50
To: talane@lifecoach.com
Subject: Vision
Dear Talane,
Having a vision really, really works!!! For years I have been using this technique to create the life I have dreamed of living! As soon as I completed a big goal I had set for myself . . .I began daydreaming of my next adventure.
I heard a voice in my head say, "Move to Lake Point." Lake Point is an exclusive GORGEOUS neighborhood where I live. I am a single mother and I work on commission . . .the idea sounded just nuts!
My intuition said think about it . . .so I did. I imagined what the house would look like, the floor plan, all the details. While on vacation in Sweden, I drew the floor plan of my dreams.
After I returned from vacation, I was at the gym. I met a new friend. I asked where she lived. She lived in Lake Point. I told her I had always dreamed of living there. She said she had a friend who was building and would soon put her house on the market. She put us together...and the floor plan was the same one that I had drawn on vacation!!!
My daughter and I are very, very happy here! My vision came true!
SR
I’ve used this technique for all the big and wonderful things in life—my husband, my house by the sea, my coaching company. So, if you haven’t taken a few minutes to write down, create a collage or draw what it is you really want in life, you are missing out on a very powerful tool. Be as specific as possible and think very carefully about what it is you really want.
Warmest,
Talane
Talane Miedaner is a Master Certified Coach and an Accredited Life Coach. She is the author of the international bestseller, Coach Yourself to Success: 101 Tips from a Personal Coach for Reaching Your Goals at Work and in Life and numerous audio programs, including, Irresistible Attraction™: A Way of Life.
Go to www.lifecoach.com to find the perfect coach for you whether you are looking for a personal coach, business coach, executive coach, career coach or, of course, a life coach. Change your life and try a free life coaching call today!
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Tip for the Week of January 28, 2008
Law of Attraction Tip #13 – Have A Vision
One of the 28 principles of attraction is to have a vision. Now both my personal coaching clients and business coaching clients usually freak out when they hear that word. How do you create a vision? Don’t panic. This isn’t hard at all. A vision should come to you naturally and it doesn’t have to be grandiose to be effective. In fact, you can have lots of visions and they can be personal or business-oriented. The point of having a vision is to inspire you to think really big and to give you a visual image in your mind to focus on. Let’s look at some big, inspiring visions: Bill Gate’s vision for Microsoft is to have a computer on every desk running Microsoft software. JFK had a vision to land a man on the moon. Lifecoach.com has a vision to make personal coaching accessible and affordable to everyone on the planet.
You can also have personal visions. When I was single and living in the Catskills Mountains alone with my two cats, I had a vision of having a family living in a beautiful house by the seaside. It has now come true. You might envision a new sofa for your living room or driving around in a red convertible. You don’t have to have lofty or generous visions. Selfish visions are perfectly okay!
How to create a vision? Just think of what you’d love to have happen in your life and your business or career. If you draw a blank, take a stack of old magazines and flip through them. If something attracts you, cut it out. Paste everything you want on a white board and this is the vision for your life. One executive coaching client did this and found a house exactly like the one she had cut out of the magazine!
How does this work? One of the laws of attraction is: What you focus on expands. So imagining and picturing your vision will draw it to you. Seems strange but it is a very effective technique. The trick is to see it as already true and to hold it very lightly as you would a wish. When we are desperate to have something happen, we can drive the opportunity away.
Try it and let me know what you attract. And, if you’ve already had success with this method, please let us know at talane@lifecoach.com.
All the best,
Talane
Talane Miedaner is a Master Certified Coach and an Accredited Life Coach. She is the author of the international bestseller, Coach Yourself to Success: 101 Tips from a Personal Coach for Reaching Your Goals at Work and in Life and numerous audio programs, including, Irresistible Attraction™: A Way of Life.
Go to www.lifecoach.com to find the perfect coach for you whether you are looking for a personal coach, business coach, executive coach, career coach or, of course, a life coach. Change your life and try a free life coaching call today!
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Tip for the Week of January 21, 2008
Law of Attraction Tip #12 – Eliminate All the Petty Annoyances
A number of readers have requested that I go back to covering the 28 Principles of Attraction. Although it looks like I’ve been side-tracked, if you do any of the tips, you’ll be making yourself more attractive. This is based on a very simple formula:
Increase your Powers of Attraction = Eliminate Energy Drains and Add in Energy Boosters.
As you eliminate from your life all sources of negativity, all major and minor stressors and add in the activities and people who make you feel great about yourself, you’ll discover that your ability to effortlessly attract what you want increases. In other words, you’ll discover that you can have a thought about what you want and it lands on your lap. Your vision is quickly translated into reality. The more energy drains in your life, the harder it is to manifest what you want. Reaching your goals can be hard or a struggle. The solution is simple. Start tackling those energy drains and get them out of your life or transform them into energy boosters.
Try this incredibly simple and powerful exercise from Tip 1 in Coach Yourself to Success:
Most people underestimate the power of this exercise. What difference can these tiny annoyances make in view of my larger goals? Tolerations are like barnacles on the hull of a ship. They look very tiny and insignificant in relation to the whole massive ocean liner, but they create so much drag and resistance that they have to be scraped off every so often. Without barnacles, the ship can reach its destination with ease and less fuel consumption. Whatever you are tolerating is making it harder for you to reach your goals. Get rid of them and you’ll find yourself gliding through life.
Enjoy!
Talane
Talane Miedaner is a Master Certified Coach and an Accredited Life Coach. She is the author of the international bestseller, Coach Yourself to Success: 101 Tips from a Personal Coach for Reaching Your Goals at Work and in Life and numerous audio programs, including, Irresistible Attraction™: A Way of Life.
Go to www.lifecoach.com to find the perfect coach for you whether you are looking for a personal coach, business coach, executive coach, career coach or, of course, a life coach. Change your life and try a free life coaching call today!
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Blog for the Week of January 14, 2008
Happy New Year
Happy New Year! I can’t believe it is already mid-January. Ideally, one should do this tip on the 31st of December, but, if you are anything like me and had a busy Christmas and New Year’s you are just now coming up for air. It isn’t too late to do this wonderful exercise to start off the New Year on the right foot. Most people make their lists of resolutions and goals and are on their way without taking time to complete the past year. Take a few minutes to write down the answers to these questions:
When my husband and I did this exercise, we suddenly felt really great about what had been a very difficult and, in many ways, discouraging year. And, we realized if we could accomplish all that we did on top of all these challenges, how much easier this year would be now that we were past these major hurdles. The best change is that the baby, now 13 months old, is finally sleeping through the night. Hooray! If we could do what we did without sleep, imagine how much more productive and happy we’ll be with sleep! Having written all this down and discussed it together, we both have experienced a huge burst of energy and enthusiasm for this year. And, our theme for this year is fun!
Two new phone classes (details below) are being offered to help jump start your new year. What a great gift to give yourself in 2008!
Enjoy!
Talane
P.S. For those of you who are asking for more of the attraction tips, I’ll pick up next week where we left off. Thanks for your enthusiastic interest. And, you’ll be pleased to know that my next book coming out in July will be all about attraction!
Talane Miedaner is a Master Certified Coach and an Accredited Life Coach. She is the author of the international bestseller, Coach Yourself to Success: 101 Tips from a Personal Coach for Reaching Your Goals at Work and in Life and numerous audio programs, including, Irresistible Attraction™: A Way of Life.
Go to www.lifecoach.com to find the perfect coach for you whether you are looking for a personal coach, business coach, executive coach, career coach or, of course, a life coach. Change your life and try a free life coaching call today!
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Classic Tip for the Week, January 7, 2008
Tell the Truth About Money
Get the new year off to a great start by taking control of your finances. The way you start is by telling the truth about money. What is money anyway? We know it doesn't buy happiness or love or health. Money is simply a tool, and the way you handle your money can tell you a lot about yourself.
First, figure out what your own beliefs are about money. Our beliefs are the source of our actions, and our actions are the source of the results we get in life. Fill in the blanks:
Limited beliefs create limited finances. Common beliefs are reflected in expressions such as "filthy rich", "money is the root of all evil", "it takes money to make money". Write down all the beliefs you have about money, and then write down all the new beliefs you would like to replace them with. For example, "I enjoy my money, I am grateful for money, I have enough money to be generous and do great things." Shifting your limiting beliefs to expansive beliefs is the first step toward financial freedom.
Excerpted from Coach Yourself to Success by Talane Miedaner
Copyright © 2000 McGraw Hill
Talane Miedaner is a Master Certified Coach and an Accredited Life Coach. She is the author of the international bestseller, Coach Yourself to Success: 101 Tips from a Personal Coach for Reaching Your Goals at Work and in Life and numerous audio programs, including, Irresistible Attraction™: A Way of Life.
Go to www.lifecoach.com to find the perfect coach for you whether you are looking for a personal coach, business coach, executive coach, career coach or, of course, a life coach. Change your life and try a free life coaching call today!
Copyright © 2008 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Blog for the Week, December 17, 2007
A Holiday Gift
One of my life coaching clients has a ten year old son who is a pen pal with a child in Nepal. He asked his father to sponsor this penniless and parentless boy for Christmas and his father has done so. When another personal coaching client of mine in Switzerland commented that her 11 year old daughter keeps saying she doesn’t want any gifts for Christmas as she wants to give her gifts to charity for needier children, her mother hasn’t taken her seriously and continues to buy her gifts. I suggested that she might want to honor and respect her daughter by taking her seriously and giving her toys with the understanding that she can keep the ones she wants and send the rest to a needier child. I told her about the opportunity to find a pen pal and offered to get the information about the charity to her so that she could consider finding a pen pal for her daughter and perhaps sponsoring a child for her Christmas present this year. Where did these wonderful, generous kids come from? I wanted all my presents for myself at that age!
As it turns out, the charity needs a lot of help as they have 72 children in need of sponsors so I thought I’d pass on the information to my subscribers in case anyone else would be interested in this very generous and thoughtful way to give.
Here is the note/information from my life coaching client:
”I am so impressed that your client’s daughter would consider such a heart warming gesture! Here is the contact information and website for the charity: www.allowthechildren.org
The charity is run by Mike and Sue Cook. Sue’s email address is sue@allowthechildren.org. They have a great need for gifts or sponsorship for about 35 children in Nepal, and 37 children in Burundi. Sue will make sure that even the smallest of gifts will reach the child directly. Mike and Sue pay all of their travel and overhead for the charity, so every dollar or gift goes directly to the child. It is not necessary to sponsor a child…just a small gift for Christmas will mean so much to any one of them. Your client will receive an information package about the recipient and they may become a pen pal. I must tell you that not every child will write, mainly because some are not capable. If asked, Sue will try to place your client with a child who will be a pen pal for her. The mail is very slow, as my son just received his last letter a week ago, dated 22 October. My son’s pen pal has no family, and just barely has basic needs like food and water…yet he always thinks of and prays for my son’s health, safety, and well being. I find it difficult to comprehend that a person struggling so hard just to have the basics of life will put others before himself.”
I’m going to set up my website so that all the referral fees from amazon.com go 100% to this charity. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could find a Christmas gift or sponsor for these 72 children? Send me a note with your results/actions and I’ll collect them to see how much we can do as one subscriber list!
Warmest wishes,
Talane
Talane Miedaner is a Master Certified Coach and an Accredited Life Coach. She is the author of the international bestseller, Coach Yourself to Success: 101 Tips from a Personal Coach for Reaching Your Goals at Work and in Life and numerous audio programs, including, Irresistible Attraction™: A Way of Life.
Go to www.lifecoach.com to find the perfect coach for you whether you are looking for a personal coach, business coach, executive coach, career coach or, of course, a life coach. Change your life and try a free life coaching call today!
Copyright © 2007 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
Talane’s Blog for the Week, December 3, 2007
The Key to a Problem-Free Life
One of my personal coaching clients this morning reported that last week one of her friends had been killed in a car accident, her house was burgled and her purse, money and credit cards stolen, and a family member was diagnosed as having cancer. What did she do to attract all this?
My answer: nothing. Deservingness has very little or no connection to what we have in life. Some people are incredibly deserving and have little or no “stuff” and others are not very deserving and are rich. And sometimes in life, bad things happen to perfectly good people. As Christopher Reeve commented, no one is exempt from catastrophe. The best we can do is create a buffer or a reserve around us to soften the blow when disaster strikes. And, you can also look at the disaster as a message. Is the universe trying to tell you something?
If you take the one of the principles of attraction, “It is all Good, Even the Bad Stuff” and apply this philosophy to the above scenario what do you get? In this personal coaching client’s case, a very loud and clear message that her life is about to derail and she is headed for a real crisis situation if she doesn’t take immediate action to turn things around. The solution wasn’t immediately obvious, but was after a half hour coaching call.
Thomas Leonard, the founder of coaching, said that life comes at us in messages. At first, we get a gentle message from the universe—a small warning signal. Then, if we fail to take action, that message gets louder and becomes a problem and if you ignore the problem, it will become a crisis. Take bouncing a check at the bank. If you ignore it, you’ll probably bounce a number of checks and rack up big fees at the bank. If you continue to ignore your financial situation, the bank could close your account which might be a serious problem. And, if you continue longer, you could rack up credit cards debts and personal debts and find yourself in a real financial hole. The solution: to overrespond to every “bad” event, especially when they are just little problems with the idea of permanently eliminating the problem at its source. So don’t just put more money in your account, instead, put $5000 in your account, sign up for overdraft protection, meet with a financial planner to discuss your finances. Go overboard in responding to this message and you will prevent it from becoming a problem in the future. If a relative has cancer, what can you do to improve your diet and health today? Don’t just take a multivitamin and call it a day. Get a complete physical, meet with a nutritionist for the best plan for your body and health, work out with a personal trainer or start some other regular physical activity. Get a weekly massage.
For a financial problem, get your insurance evaluated by a financial planner. Do you have your wills and other financial protection in place so that if the worst occurs, you and your family are well-protected?
Like the personal coaching client above, you must go to the source of the problem and eliminate the stress at its source. What messages is the universe sending you?
Warmest,
Talane
Talane Miedaner is a Master Certified Coach and an Accredited Life Coach. She is the author of the international bestseller, Coach Yourself to Success: 101 Tips from a Personal Coach for Reaching Your Goals at Work and in Life and numerous audio programs, including, Irresistible Attraction™: A Way of Life.
Go to www.lifecoach.com to find the perfect coach for you whether you are looking for a personal coach, business coach, executive coach, career coach or, of course, a life coach. Change your life and try a free life coaching call today!
Copyright © 2007 by Talane LLC. All rights reserved.
November 19, 2007
October 22, 2007
October 8, 2007
October 1, 2007
September 24, 2007
September 17, 2007
September 10, 2007
September 3, 2007
August 27, 2007
August 20, 2007
August 13, 2007
July 30, 2007
July 23, 2007
July 16, 2007
July 9, 2007
June 18, 2007
June 11, 2007
June 4, 2007
May 28, 2007
May 21, 2007
May 14, 2007
April 23, 2007
April 16, 2007
April 9, 2007
April 2, 2007
March 26, 2007
March 19, 2007
February 26, 2007
February 19, 2007
February 12, 2007
February 5, 2007
January 29, 2007
January 15, 2007
January 8, 2007
January 1, 2007
December 25, 2006
December 18, 2006
December 11, 2006
December 4, 2006
November 20, 2006
November 13, 2006
October 30, 2006
October 10, 2006
October 2, 2006
September 18, 2006
September 11, 2006
August 28, 2006
August 21, 2006
August 14, 2006
August 7, 2006
July 31, 2006
July 24, 2006
July 17, 2006
July 3, 2006
June 26, 2006
June 12, 2006
June 5, 2006
May 29, 2006
May 22, 2006
May 15, 2006
May 8, 2006
May 1, 2006
April 24, 2006
April 10, 2006
April 3, 2006
March 6, 2006
February 27, 2006
February 20, 2006
February 13, 2006
January 30, 2006
January 23, 2006
January 16, 2006
January 2, 2006
December 19, 2005
December 12, 2005
December 5, 2005
November 28, 2005
November 21, 2005
November 14, 2005
October 31, 2005
October 24, 2005
October 17, 2005
October 10, 2005
|
About Us | Sitemap | Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Coaches Login Copyright © 2010 Talane LLC. All rights reserved. |
Web Design by Acro Media Inc.  |
