Talane’s Blog of the Week, June 26, 2006

My husband just turned 40. To celebrate the occasion, we threw a BBQ for 70 of our friends and family. Everyone had a great time except me—I spent too much time in the kitchen, refreshing platters of food, and washing glasses. Never again! It just doesn’t make sense. In college I worked as a party helper. I’d run around with plates of hors d’oeuvres, pick up dirty dishes and clean up the kitchen. This left the hosts free to enjoy their guests—the point of getting together in the first place. Next time, I’ll hire help so I can spend my time with my friends.

This brings up a powerful coaching point. Too often we do stuff just because we can or because we think it will save money. As with my party, this can be a case of “penny wise, pound foolish” (clearly an English expression). I remember the time my father decided to repair the roof himself. In the process, he fell off the ladder and broke his ankle. No ordinary break, this one required costly surgery, pins, and traction for weeks while he healed. A mess. And, the roof didn’t get fixed. So not only did he have to pay for the roof in the end, he also had to pay all his medical bills (he wasn’t insured!). Worse yet, his ankle never fully healed and he is now permanently crippled. The lesson: delegate as much as possible and don’t go up on roofs unless you have excellent health insurance. My father is a brilliant computer programmer and an author and should NOT be fixing roofs—a poor use of his unique talents. If you have a special talent, and are wasting it, you might get a smack from the universe to point you back in the right direction. Avoid getting smacked by sticking to your purpose in life!

There is a coaching philosophy that the universe sends you gentle messages. If you fail to heed the message, the universe sends a problem, if you ignore the problem, it sends a crisis. The key to avoiding crises is to listen to the subtle messages. Then, over-respond. For example, say you bounce a check. A pain in the neck, but not the end of the world—a message. If you ignore it, you’ll probably bounce more checks and end up with hefty fees to pay (a problem) and if you continue to ignore this, you may end up ruining your credit (a crisis). How do you over-respond to the original message? Instead of just putting money in your checking account and asking the payee to resubmit the check for payment, you could put $5,000 in your checking account, sign up for overdraft protection, and meet with a financial planner to get your financial house in order. Now that would be over-responding to a message.

I’m going to over-respond to the subtle message I received at the BBQ by 1) hiring help for the next party; 2) buying five times more plastic cups than I think I need; and, 3) looking at all other areas in my life where I’ve taken on too much. I’ve already asked my housekeeper to come back later in the week to freshen up the house, do the laundry and ironing, which has been taking an astonishing amount of my time, with my small munchkin going through 2 or 3 outfits a day.

What are you doing that takes your time and could easily be delegated? Where are you taking on too much? Ask yourself: is this best use of my unique talents? If not, take this as a message to get your life back on track.

All the best,
Talane