Talane’s Blog of the Week, April 3, 2006

A coaching colleague, Byron Van Arsdale (www.ConferenceCallTraining.com) emailed me to say he'd run across one of my tips about money and found it still meaningful several years later. I'm a firm believer that things show up for a reason, so I decided to revisit this money tip.

The most common mistake I see in the area of money is believing that the easiest way to solve financial problems is to figure out some way to make more money. This is why suckers fall for get-rich-quick schemes, why people play the lottery. But money is not the answer to most problems. Get to the root of why you are in financial trouble in the first place. If you don't figure this out, any extra money you make will just get washed down the same old drain.

What are money drains? Having unmet emotional needs is typically the hidden source. We are conditioned to think that if we go out and buy something we'll feel fine. In truth, no amount of money will ever be enough to fill your emotional needs. There is no getting around this one. Years ago, with the help of my coach, I finally figured out that I was overspending because I had a need to be cherished. Unfortunately the spending high was short-lived. Once I realized what I really needed, I began to think of ways to get that need met. I asked my mother to call me every week and tell me how much she loved me. I asked my sister to send me a postcard once a week saying some way she appreciated me. I asked my boyfriend at the time to give me a back rub once a week. Don't worry, they don't have to do it forever, just for six to eight weeks until you feel your need disappearing. As I began to feel completely cherished, my desire to shop disappeared. I didn't have to exert "willpower" to stop spending. It just faded away naturally.

Once my needs were met, I was able to make permanent lifestyle changes. I kept a detailed spending log to track every single purchase down to the penny for a month so I could see where my money was going and then made a few changes, cutting out the expenditures that didn't give me joy and keeping those that did. In time, I went from having $22,000 in debt to having six months' living expenses in the bank. I had been waiting for something magical rescue me--a big raise at the bank or a knight in shining armor. With my debts under control, I started attracting more success. You are much more likely to attract what you want if you don't need it. So get your needs met first! Not sure what your needs are? Try taking the Emotional Index quiz at www.lifecoach.com under Free Stuff.

All the best,
Talane